There are two distinct categories of adoption: open and closed. Closed adoptions don’t include contact between adoptive families and birth parents. Open adoptions, on the other hand, allow for adoptive families and birth parents to have contact. Agencies will give both adoptive and birth parents the choice of which type of adoption they would feel comfortable with.
Traditionally, semi-open or mediated adoptions were considered to be a separate category of adoption. However, today we simply refer to these kinds of adoptions under the umbrella of open adoptions, with limited contact between the birth parents and adoptive families. The term “semi-open adoption” is no longer used.
Open Adoptions
There are different degrees of “openness” when it comes to open adoptions. For example, some open adoptions allow the birth parents to have contact with their child and others consist of just pictures and updates on the child. Both parties will have to agree and discuss their expectations when it comes to how they would like to proceed with an open adoption.
Open adoptions are increasingly common. In 2008, a survey showed that 95% of adoptions were open to some degree. The popularity of open adoptions makes it an important method to consider when you are looking into the possibility of adding to your family via adoption.
Benefits of Open Adoption
There are several benefits to open adoptions. In addition to making the process of adoption a more intimate experience between birth and adoptive parents, open adoptions help to remove a lot of the ambiguity that comes with adoption.
A common feature of adoption is unknown information about the child and where they come from. Basic information such as health history and ancestry can be difficult, if not impossible, to acquire. More often than not, this becomes an issue in the future and can be further complicated when undisclosed health information needs to be addressed. Genetic predisposition for certain diseases can be found out through testing, but it is much simpler to have the information outright. Open adoptions allow adoptive parents to have access to the information through the birth parent.
Telling a child that they are adopted can be difficult. It can cause the child to feel a sense of loss and uncertainty. Open adoptions can help the child to work through and possibly eliminate these feelings. When a child has information about their birth parents, it allows them to fill in any blanks that they may have. There will not be a need to search for information regarding their birth parents, as the information will already be there.
For birth parents, the decision to place their child for adoption can be a heavy one filled with uncertainty. Birth parents want the best for their child and not knowing what family will raise their child can be a frightening reality for birth parents who choose a closed adoption. Open adoptions allow birth parents to have a say in what family their child will grow up with. Birth parents can find peace of mind when they are matched with a family that they are confident will be an excellent fit for their child.
Drawbacks to Open Adoption
While open adoptions allow adoptive families and birth families to keep in contact and have numerous benefits, they are not without some drawbacks. Open adoptions can cause a heavy emotional toll on everyone involved.
It can be difficult for adoptive families and birth parents to occupy the same role. An open adoption that allows contact between birth parents and the adoptee can result in confusion for the child when it comes to authority and what to expect from each parent. This is especially common in younger children; it can be difficult for the children to understand the different roles each parent plays in their lives.
There is also the problem of setting up boundaries. Adoptive parents and birth parents will have to clearly define their expectations when it comes to the birth parents’ role in the child’s life. Limited or full contact with the child can be difficult to navigate. Knowing where to draw the line is important and requires open and honest communication between all parties involved.
One of the biggest drawbacks to open adoption is the possibility that the relationship will not work out. There is the expectation that once the birth parent decides to be a part of the child’s life that choice will not change. Birth parents can often struggle with their own problems (some of which may have caused them to place the child for adoption in the first place) and therefore, lack the consistency to maintain a role in the child’s life. This can be difficult for everyone involved. The child may feel that they have been abandoned by their birth parent(s) and ask hard to answer questions. It is imperative that all parties involved consider the emotions of the child and factor in this possibility.
Benefits and Drawbacks of Open Adoption
The process of adoption can be a difficult one. There will certainly be positives and negatives involved in the decision to go forward with an open adoption. While open adoptions have awesome benefits, it can be difficult to factor in some of the possible drawbacks. The most important thing to consider when making the decision of whether to proceed with an open adoption is what is best for you and your family.
Adoption Choices of Colorado
For more information on adoption please contact Adoption Choices of Colorado. We can be reached via our website or phone 303-670-4401.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Davina grew up in the outskirts of New York City, before eventually moving to Buffalo, New York at the age of 10. Her passion for adoption comes from her own experiences of being in foster care and being an adoptee herself. She hopes to help others to understand the intricacies of adoption and encourage them to consider it as an option.
Davina is a proud Geneseo Knights alum having graduated in 2018. She has been writing for as long as she can remember and chose to pursue a degree in English with hopes of making her hobby a career. Thus far, she has enjoyed her time as an intern for Adoption Choices Inc. and looks forward to a bright future in writing. When she is not writing, she enjoys spending time with her family, building websites, and making lists.
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References
“The Pros and Cons of Open Adoption.” America Adopts, 2 January 2019, http://www.americaadopts.com/resources/the-pros-and-cons-of-open-adoption/
“Open Adoption.” Child Welfare, 2 January 2019, https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/f_openadoptbulletin.pdf
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!