Am I a Horrible Person for Wanting to Place My Baby for Adoption?
By Ryan Yau
Am I a Horrible Person for Wanting to Place My Baby for Adoption? No, you are not a horrible person. If you are a birth mother looking at options for adoption, you should not feel bad about your decision. There is sometimes a stigma associated with placing your child for adoption, as it may be thought of as selfish. Naturally, you may feel some guilt over this based on these preconceived notions.
On the contrary, what’s responsible is recognizing that you may not be at the right stage to raise a child. Adoption may be the best outcome for both you and your child, and in this way is a selfless act. There are many valid reasons for choosing adoption in Colorado, and you should be able to feel good about your decision.
Not everyone needs to be a parent
It’s okay to not want to be a parent. Not everyone has to, or frankly, should be a parent. More so, if you are not enthusiastic about having a baby, forcing yourself to would lead to a worse outcome. This even goes if you think you would be a good parent or have been told so by others. You should ultimately be the one who decides whether you want to raise a child or not.
Society especially encourages women to take on the role of mother. However, it’s perfectly okay to go against this expectation and live more independently. It’s important to realize that your worth is not determined by whether or not you raise children.
You allow others to take care of a child
Some people may not be able to have children for various reasons but still want to raise a child. For them, adoption is the only way for them to be able to foster a baby. By placing your baby for adoption, you allow other parents in Aurora to have their own child. In this way, placing your child for adoption is definitely a selfless act.
The bottom line is that your baby will go to a family enthusiastic about raising a child. This is a good thing for not only the adoptive family but your baby as well. Enthusiasm is a great quality of a parent and will lead to a better quality of life for both parties involved.
Your baby can find a great life in the adoption system
You may have hesitations about the fate of your baby if you place them for adoption. This may lead to guilt since you place the burden of taking care of the child on yourself. However, you can rest easy. Adoption Choices of Colorado can clear any misconceptions about the adoption process and make everything go smoothly.
There are many different adoption plans you can consider. You could even remain in your baby’s life if you choose to go for an open adoption. This would allow you to contact your child and their adoptive family without the huge commitment of parenting.
Many people choose adoption
You are not alone in choosing adoption. Many parents choose to place their children for adoption, often for the reasons listed above. Adoption ultimately benefits everyone involved, including you, your child, and the adoptive family. You need more time, the baby needs a parent, and the parent needs a baby. By your decision to place your child for adoption, all these needs are fulfilled to their best capacity.
So you should feel that adoption is not a selfish decision after all. In fact, it can be quite selfless in these ways. If you still feel guilty about your decision, there are many support options for you. Many people choose adoption, and many feel a similar form of guilt. There are many support groups or counseling services you can seek about your worries. These will help you ease your hesitations about the adoption process.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!