Adoption Terms: What is the Difference Between an Expectant Mother, a Birth Mother, and an Adoptive Mother?
By Elle Kerrigan
When looking into how to put a child up for adoption, you come across many terms that may seem unfamiliar. It can be confusing! For example, there is a difference between expectant, birth, and adoptive mothers. One of the many great things about an adoption agency like Adoption Choices of Colorado is that we can help you keep track of this terminology. Our adoption counselors have been assisting families with adoption in Colorado for 21 years. We are knowledgeable about everything from the language surrounding adoption to each step of the adoption process. Our goals are to clarify the process and make you feel confident and comfortable in seeking adoption.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
What is an Expectant Mother?
An expectant mother is a pregnant person who has yet to give birth. You can be an expectant mother with either a planned or unplanned pregnancy. We often use this term to speak to individuals seeking help creating an adoption plan. While an adoption plan can be created at any time, many mothers choose to do so while pregnant. Expectant mothers use adoption plans to organize the details of their pregnancy, birth, and adoption. This is done with the help of our skilled adoption specialists, who can direct you toward what needs to be covered.
Who is Considered a Birth Mother?
If you have already delivered your baby, you are a birth mother. An expectant mother eventually becomes a birth mother if the pregnancy leads to birth. This term is used in the adoption world to refer to the child’s biological mother. We use the phrase “birth mother” to ensure that it is known that they are mothers. Many who place a baby for adoption can struggle with their identity. They wonder if they can call themselves a mother. Placing a child for adoption does not mean you are not a mother. The birth mother’s identity also helps individuals identify their rights in the adoption process. Both expectant and birth mothers have financial assistance rights that vary by state laws. If you are pursuing adoption in Colorado, there are protections in place for you. You may qualify for financial or legal assistance. Of course, you always qualify for support through an agency such as Adoption Choices of Colorado. This is completely free to a birth mother.
What Role Does the Adoptive Mother Play in an Adoption?
Lastly, an adoptive mother is an individual who gains legal custody of the child through the adoption process. Adoptive mothers are an important piece of the adoption puzzle. If the birth mother chooses an open adoption, many birth mothers and adoptive mothers have a close relationship throughout the child’s life. The child may differentiate the two by thinking of them in their respective terms, but it’s important to note that they are both still mothers. This is usually only relevant when speaking of the child’s adoption in legal terms or specific conversations. Typically, the child’s adoptive mother is simply their mother.
Using the Right Adoption Term
It’s important that we use these three different terms so we know exactly how to help. For example, expectant mothers have different needs than birth mothers; birth mothers have different needs than adoptive mothers, and so on. When you know how to best refer to yourself and to others, you can better communicate with our specialists. These terms also give a degree of specificity and respect to each individual, which is important throughout the process. Each person should know that they are a valued part of the adoption. Once you have become well-versed in adoption language, you can communicate your needs with Adoption Choices of Colorado effectively and continue to learn more about the process.
The Importance of Using the Proper Adoption Term
Adoption Choices of Colorado provides private adoption services to anyone who is in need of support. We can help you pursue adoption in Aurora, Denver, or anywhere you’re located in Colorado. As a non-profit organization, we are extremely passionate about providing educational resources, emotional support, and adoption services to those who need them. We know that it can be overwhelming trying to keep up with all the steps and new terms that come with adoption. The difference between expectant, birth, and adoptive mothers is not too hard, but it’s important. We like to use these terms in order to highlight different needs, show respect, and encourage identity.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!