Adoption Isn’t a Bad Word
When you think of the word “adoption,” it may make you feel confused or even uncomfortable, especially if you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. This may be due to the traditional, societal implications and stigmas associated with adoption that make adoption sometimes difficult to talk about or even consider if you are a pregnant woman who does not want their baby. Adoption isn’t a bad word, nor should it be a secret, though. Family dynamics are changing, and familial bonds are created through love and effort, not just through a biological bond. For parents who wish to provide their child a better life, adoption provides the parents and child with a new chance at a future. Adoption is a chance to change a hopeful family’s lives by blessing them with your baby.
At Adoption Choices Colorado, we understand that considering adoption when you are unexpectedly pregnant can be daunting, so we want to be there for you to answer any questions or hesitations you may have. Even if you’re only considering it as an option, you can still talk with our staff to get help.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
“Traditional” Families
In the 21st century, many changes have happened and are happening. One of those changes is the family dynamic. Adoption has been steadily growing in numbers since 1990, and it’s no surprise because adoption has many benefits. One of the best benefits of adoption is that it provides prospective families with a child they can raise as their own.
The traditional family dynamic has changed drastically over the last century, so you shouldn’t be ashamed of adoption. When you think of the typical American family dynamic, you think of a mother and father with their children. However, this model has changed as divorce, remarriage and cohabitation increased, and as a result, there is no singular dominant family model in the US. The family dynamic has changed, and so have notions of adoption as people are more open to embracing the fact that it’s okay to have an atypical family model.
Of course, many people think family comprises only those who are biologically related to you, but that’s not true. However, this definition disregards the people in your life who love you unconditionally that you may consider to be a part of your family. As such, a family should be defined as the people you love and love you unconditionally because family is made. It is not something that magically happens without putting the effort in first.
Being Open About Adoption
Of course, adoption is not an easy process. There are many emotional hurdles that come along with adoption, but you don’t have to go through it alone. It is important to acknowledge these hurdles so that if you do choose to go through with the adoption, you know what to expect. It is also important to discuss the difficulties surrounding adoption because being secretive about these issues makes adoption seem taboo. By being open about these topics, we can de-stigmatize adoption.
One of these hurdles that many people don’t talk about is dealing with loss. You will experience loss in the form of your child and a parenting role. To help you, Adoption Choices Colorado does provide counseling during and after the adoption process because we understand that dealing with loss alone is difficult. When you make an adoption plan, you can also choose to have an open adoption, which will allow you to maintain some form of contact between you and your baby.
Another aspect of adoption that makes it so taboo in our culture is the feeling of shame and guilt experienced by the birth parents who have chosen to put their baby up for adoption. Shame and guilt are felt because people feel as though they are “giving” up their baby, but that is not the case. Adoption is providing your baby with a new future that will be filled with a loving family and a safe home. Adoption is a chance to create a wonderful future for you and your baby.
There are many hurdles involved with adoption that make it difficult to talk about, but we should be open about these things. Being able to talk about these difficult topics will help de-stigmatize adoption and dismantle the myths that surround adoption.
Colorado Adoption
Another way we can de-stigmatize adoption so that it isn’t perceived as a “bad” word or a secret is to be open about the adoption process. As a Colorado adoption agency, Adoption Choices of Colorado has staff willing to answer any of your questions about the process, and we provide many resources online that will help you understand the process better.
The first step of the adoption process is to get into contact with our staff, and afterward, you will be working closely with a birth parent counselor who will be able to advise you every step of the way. During the entire process, you are in control of everything as the birth parent counselor is simply there to keep you informed and to help you with paperwork.
While working with your birth parent counselor, you will create an adoption plan, which is where you will map out what kind of adoption you want to have. If you choose an open adoption, then a line of communication will be established between you and the adoptive family you have chosen for your baby. One of the most important steps is to then choose the adoptive family, and you will have the chance to reach out to different families to get to know them better. You will also be encouraged to create a birth plan, which is where you will write out your preferences when you deliver your baby.
Adoption Resources
Dismantling the harmful notions and stigmas surrounding adoption can be difficult, especially if it has been hardwired into you because of the society you grew up in, but it is not impossible. Making an effort to understand how adoption is beneficial and how it can help certain people will greatly reduce its stigma. At Adoption Choices Colorado, we are proud to be a part of the effort to de-stigmatize adoption by providing resources to help those who don’t understand adoption.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the author: Victoria is a sophomore at the Georgia Institute of Technology, and she is currently a Literature, Media, and Communications major. She currently runs her own blog, where she shares her poetry and creative writing projects. When she is not working or studying for school, she is often reading or writing, as she seeks to pursue a career in writing.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!