An unexpected pregnancy is a difficult situation to have to deal with and once you have determined that the best option for you and your baby is to place the baby for adoption, deciding on the right adoptive family to raise your child the way you’d want him or her raised becomes a major priority. There are more than 1,000,000 people in the world trying to adopt a child so your options are vast. When you ask yourself, “who would I want to adopt my baby”, you’ll begin to envision the type of person or people that you’d like your child to grow up with.
Like we mentioned, there are over a million people looking for a child to adopt all across the nation, all with different religions, situations, marital statuses, sexual orientations, genders, races, and beliefs. One of the major decisions to be made during the adoption process [link to The Adoption Process: What to Expect When Placing Your Baby for Adoption blog post when it’s live] is choosing the adoptive family.
While there isn’t a checklist to determine the perfect adoptive family, mostly because it’s all subjective, here are five things that you should look for when choosing an adoptive family.
The very first thing to consider are your beliefs and what is most important to your belief system. Questions to ask include:
- What religion (if any) is most important to you?
- Do you prefer a two parent household or a single parent household?
- Do you have a preference in terms of whether your baby is placed with a heterosexual or homosexual couple?
- Is race important?
- Do you prefer that your child is an only child or have siblings?
These are just a few of the many questions you’ll probably ask yourself when considering who will adopt your child. Even something as simple as whether or not a family has pets is something you might want to consider.
One of the major hurdles in placing your baby for adoption is finding the perfect family for them that you are confident will raise your child the way you’d want them to be raised. Consider your beliefs and preferences carefully. There are no wrong or right answers here, it’s all about your perspective and goals for your child.
Values you want your child to have
The next thing to consider is what kind of values you want your child to grow up with. What are the most important attributes and character traits that you’d want your child to have? These traits can be anything from being hard-working, inquisitive, and generous to being fearless, compassionate, and assertive. The traits that the adoptive family holds dear and demonstrates themselves are likely to be passed on to the child. Think about the adult that you’d want your baby to grow up to be. What is he or she like? How would you describe him or her? Look for those traits in an adoptive family.
As with anything in life, we’ve got to judge the character of those around us. While any family approved by your agency to be an adoptive family will be of high character and have a good value system, we still recommend looking through the waiting families profiles closely to determine if the character of any potential adoptive families align with your own. You need to have the utmost trust and confidence in whoever will be raising your child. Don’t shy away from the tough questions, embrace them.
Another important thing to consider is your potential communication with the adoptive family and even the child post-adoption. Are you looking for an open adoption in which you will have direct contact with the child or a semi-open adoption where you will receive photos and letters from the adoptive family as your child grows up? Will you communicate directly with the adoptive family? Will you receive photos? Will you communicate with the child? How will you communicate? When will you communicate? How often? These are just some of the questions to take into account when choosing a family. You’ll want to find a family that embraces your needs for communication, whether that’s frequent contact or infrequent contact after adoption.
While adoptive families are excited and anxious to become parents, the decision on which family will raise your baby is a very important one that cannot and should not be rushed. Let it happen naturally and let your intuition and belief system help you choose who is right for your baby, but do it on your schedule. The right decision is much more important than a fast decision.
While there are definitely hundreds of questions and scenarios that you’ll consider during the process of placing your child for adoption, these are just a few of the major things to consider when finding the right family for your baby. Our counselors and caseworkers are here to support you through every step of the process. Learn more about the adoption process, what to expect, and how we can help today!