A Birth Mother’s Role in the Adoption Process
As a birth mother, making the choice to place your baby for adoption requires incredible emotional strength. It’s completely reasonable to have questions and to need guidance while you go through this process. Adoption Choices of Colorado has a multitude of resources for birth mothers considering adoption, and provides answers to some of the important questions you might have before starting your adoption journey.
Having A Relationship with Your Child Following Adoption
It’s perfectly natural to question the status of your relationship with your baby after they are placed for adoption. While it’s true that you forfeit your role as a parent and a primary caregiver, you can still have a role in your child’s life. Being there to explain to him or her that you placed them with a loving family to give them a better life than you could provide means a great deal to most adoptees. It can also help with your grieving process as a birth mother to know that your child is safe and loved.
Adoption Choices of Colorado greatly encourages open adoptions. We find that it is often the most healthy choice for the birth mother, adoptive parents and, ultimately, your child. We require, at the very least, that adoptive families be open to sending pictures and letters regarding your child. The birth mother is also encouraged to send pictures and letters through the agency. However, there can also be visits and more personal and intimate relationships fostered, depending on the degree of openness both parties are willing to have.
Being Pregnant and Having Nowhere to Live
As a birth mother, your greatest responsibility is to have a healthy pregnancy. It is the greatest labor of love, and it will allow you to place a healthy baby in a loving home. However, if you’re financially strained, and do not have a safe place to live, that is hugely problematic. What to consider when finding yourself pregnant and homeless is the safety threat. If you can’t guarantee a safe bed and a steady source of income for yourself, how can you guarantee that for your baby?
Fortunately, our caseworkers are happy to help you apply for affordable housing, if your financial situation requires it. We can also assist you with paying for rent, during your pregnancy and immediately following your delivery. Finding yourself unexpectedly pregnant is scary enough, we want to ensure you have a safe place to sleep at night. This is both for you and the health of your baby.
Where to Start With Doctors and Checkups Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy
Other important questions you might have would likely concern your immediate medical future. Many birth mothers don’t know where to start when they find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. It is essential that you contact a doctor immediately upon discovering your pregnancy. They will schedule you for routine visits so you can ensure proper prenatal care. This will help identify any possible complications with your pregnancy, so it can be anticipated by the medical professionals.
We will assign you a caseworker, and they will help you organize your prenatal appointments. Your caseworker can also take you to tour different hospital facilities, and you can identify what you feel most comfortable with. We also provide transportation to doctor’s appointments and hospital visits, should that be necessary.
Proper medical care is the most essential of steps in a healthy pregnancy, which will eventually lead to a successful adoption.
Getting to Choose the Adoptive Family
It takes immeasurable strength to place your child for adoption. However, many birth mothers do this with the knowledge that their child is going to a family who will be able to give them a better life. This is something that eventually brings many of them peace.
In the midst of the adoption process, a birth mother’s role includes choosing the adoptive family of your baby. Every adoptive family prepares a miniature scrapbook. It is usually filled with photos of their family, home, vacations, and other aspects of their lives. They also include letters to the birth mothers that reveal a lot about themselves. This allows you to assess the quality of life that you want your child to have, and the quality of people you want them to be raised by.
Furthermore, all of the prospective adoptive families go through intensive background checks. Their homes have been carefully evaluated by caseworkers and they also have to provide a State of Bureau investigation report. They also have to provide a child abuse clearance report, birth certificates, and their own personal health records. There is no stone unturned when vetting adoptive families.
Struggling in the Aftermath of Adoption
We do not underestimate the grief that you may be experiencing as a result of placing your child for adoption. We want to treat that with the utmost respect, and allow you the time that you need to heal. There is no set time frame for dealing with any loss, and a birth mother’s role in the adoption process is no exception.
If you find yourself questioning whether there are resources to help you deal with grief and anguish, or you need to understand why you chose adoption, Adoption Choices of Colorado offers counseling services to any and every birth mother that may require them. It doesn’t matter what stage you are in the adoption process. This is a free service, and is available to birth fathers, as well as other family members. We can point you in the direction of support groups, or get you a more private counseling setting.
There might be questions that you didn’t even know you had, and navigating that is essential to your life moving forward.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Katherine Burns is a journalism student at Loyola University Maryland with plans to pursue a career in the news and magazine industries. With over three years of experience writing for the Greyhound Newspaper at Loyola, Katherine specializes in Op-eds. However, she has recently branched out to cover a variety of topics, including education and sports journalism. She also has ample experience with travel blogging.
Katherine has conducted a variety of interviews in her time at Loyola and has displayed her stories through differing forms of media. In addition to her studies at Loyola, Katherine spent the fall of 2019 studying communications at the American University of Paris.To learn more about Katherine, be sure to check her out on social media.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!