8 Ways to Celebrate Birth Fathers on Father’s Day
Father’s Day can be a really bittersweet time for a birth father. Birth fathers are in the unique position of having biologically fathered a child, but they are not in the day-to-day role of raising and parenting that child. Not all birth fathers will have the same experience or relationship to fatherhood, and it is important to spend this day in a way that best honors your needs.
There’s many ways to celebrate birth fathers on Father’s Day, and this blog will list 8 ideas to inspire your own celebration
If you need to connect with your child …
- Request a Father’s Day Check-In
If you don’t want to connect with your child in person, you can request that your child’s adoptive parents send you pictures, updates, drawings, etc.on Father’s Day. This can be a great way to feel connected with your child, and honor your love and care for them without bringing up the potential difficult emotions of meeting in person.
- Plan a Day with Your Child’s Adoptive Family
Another way to celebrate birth fathers on father’s day is to plan a visit. If you and your child’s adoptive parents agree, Father’s Day can be a great day to schedule time all together. One of the many benefits of open adoption is that your child gets to celebrate having a relationship with both their adoptive and birth fathers. Creating a family tradition that includes the birth father for part of the special day, can be a great way for birth fathers to feel included and appreciated for their own unique role in their child’s life.
If you need to grieve …
- Talk With Loved Ones
Some birth fathers find Father’s Day to be a particularly difficult time in their grieving process. It is very natural for this to be a hard day. You may need to take this time to talk with friends, family or professionals regarding the story of your child’s adoption or your current thoughts and feelings. It is great to give your support network a head’s up if you know this may be a difficult time, so that they can check in with you.
- Honor Your Child’s Presence in Your Life
Another great way to process your experience as a birth father is to take some time out of your day to celebrate your child on your own through a simple act. Maybe you want to plant a tree, look through old photos you’ve received or write a letter to your child. If you are still in touch with the birth mother, this may be a day to reach out and reminisce together.
If you need to distract yourself …
- Intentionally Keep Busy
Some birth fathers don’t feel that it’s helpful to spend Father’s Day celebrating. One way of taking care of yourself can be making sure that you are scheduled to work or have other plans to keep yourself distracted. As long as this is done in an intentional way to keep your mind off difficult emotions, it can be a really powerful way to honor what you need most on this day.
- Treat It Like A Normal Day
There are many reasons you may not choose to celebrate Father’s Day. Perhaps, you don’t feel a close connection to the holiday or find it emotionally easier to just skip over. Maybe you have a difficult relationship with your own father or simply want to celebrate another day with your child. You don’t need to justify your choice not to celebrate this day to anyone. If ignoring the holiday is what’s best for you, simply treat Father’s Day like any other day.
If you need to surround yourself with support and connection …
- Celebrate Your Father/Father Figures
Father’s Day can be a great day to focus on gratitude and appreciation for your own father/father figures. It can feel really good to reach out for a phone call or schedule lunch with these special people in your life. Feeling grateful for their existence and influence in your life can help you feel connected and loved.
- Day trip with your family
Another great way to connect with your chosen family on this day is to plan a day trip or other special event. Take this time to spend quality time with your loved ones, whether that be your family, close friends or partner or spouse. Taking care of yourself by making exciting plans that allow you to celebrate yourself, and the existence of those closest to you, is a really powerful way of honoring yourself on this day.
Ways to Celebrate Birth Fathers on Father’s Day
While there are an infinite number of options for celebrating birth fathers on Father’s Day, it is essential to focus on your own personal wants and needs. Take time to reflect, journal and check-in with yourself so you are aware of your own thoughts and feelings surrounding this day. It’s so important not to let anyone else tell you how to celebrate (or not celebrate) any holiday.
Choose what’s going to be the best form of self-care for you and make plans accordingly. Allow yourself some flexibility if your needs change, and take time to recognize what an amazing role you’ve played in your child’s life by choosing adoption. You brought a child into this world and gave them the best chance for the life you wanted for them – that’s something worth celebrating! You deserve to take some time to honor yourself and your role in your child’s life in whatever way feels best for you.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Call us: 720-371-1099, Call or Text us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Kara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of Charlotte. She plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about.
Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!