8 Top Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
There are many reasons birth fathers choose adoption. Everyone’s journey and choices are unique to their situation, personal desires and values. When an unplanned pregnancy occurs, it can be a very difficult decision making process and not all birth fathers are initially on board with a birth mother’s choice to place a baby for adoption.
Adoption Choices Colorado has counseling available to help you better understand open adoption and give you a place to express your own feelings and fears in the adoption process. This blog post is going to focus on eight of the top reasons birth fathers choose adoption
A Birth Father May Choose Adoption When He is…
- Unable to Provide for the Baby Financially
This is a very common reason for birth parents to decide to place their child with an adoptive family. Parenthood comes with incredible expenses and many birth fathers simply do not have the financial means to provide for a child. If you find yourself in this position, it can feel good to know your child is placed with an adoptive family who can.
- Too Young or Not Ready to Put Future Plans on Hold at the Moment
Many birth parents choose adoption because they are too young or simply not ready to be parents. It takes a lot of self-awareness and selflessness to admit that you are not ready to take care of a child and to place them with a family who can. Raising a child requires a lot of time and sacrifice that young people who are building their own independence, stability and career may not be ready or able to give up. It’s okay to focus on you and your plans before having a child. Adoption can be a great way to honor that reality in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.
- Facing Personal Challenges and Wants their Child to Be Raised in a Stable Home
Some birth fathers choose adoption because they have personal challenges they are working through. This may involve big life changes that are overwhelming, or mental health issues that need to be addressed before having a child. It takes a lot of courage to be honest with yourself and admit that you are not in a place emotionally where you are able to care for your child in the way that’s best for them. Sometimes, birth fathers had a difficult or traumatic childhood that they are still processing and healing from, and they want better for their own child.
- Lacking a Support Network
Raising a child is a challenging process for anyone and requires a lot of support from family and friends. If the birth mother and father are not together, lack close friends and family support or just moved to a new city, this may be a reason to place your baby up for adoption. It takes a village to raise a child and open adoption can provide just that. Your son or daughter will have their adoptive parents, you will have a relationship with them and your child will be able to know who his or her birth parents are..
Or He may Choose Adoption because He…
- Wants to Take Responsibility
Some birth fathers choose adoption because it feels empowering to address an unplanned pregnancy in a positive and active way. Adoption gives you a chance to participate in the beautiful process of creating a family, and makes something positive out of what may be an otherwise overwhelming situation. By choosing adoption, you can feel confident and reassured that you took an active role in ensuring your child has all the love and support they need.
- Wants to Reduce Uncertainty and Fear
Adoption Choices Colorado encourages birth fathers to consider open adoption. This allows birth fathers the chance to develop a relationship with their child’s adoptive parents and to watch their child as he or she grows up. Any and all fears a birth father may experience throughout the adoption journey can decrease knowing that the child is being cared for and raised with loving hands.
- Wants to Improve the Grieving Process
Another one of the reasons birth fathers choose open adoption is that the continued connection to their child can make the grieving process easier. The ability to still have a relationship with your child allows you to keep them in your life, even though you are not able to parent them. This can help with the difficult process of grieving the loss of your child that many birth fathers experience. Adoption is both a difficult and beautiful process that brings up a lot of mixed emotions. The ability to know and interact with adoptive families can give you reassurance and help you healthfully move forward with your life post adoption..
- Wants to Help Others Create a Family
Birth fathers may have a desire to help others create a family. There are so many individuals who really want to have a child and who have waited a long time to become parents. So, it can feel powerful to help someone create that family. You might feel a great sense of joy and satisfaction knowing that your choice to place your child with an adoptive family is helping others have the family they might not otherwise be able to have.. This sense of joy and purpose can be a really powerful benefit to choosing adoption.
A Birth Father Wants His Child to Live their Best Life
While there are many reasons birth fathers choose adoption, ultimately, it all comes down to deep, unconditional love for their child. Because you really love and cherish your child and want the absolute best for them. There may be many different reasons you can’t provide the opportunities or family you want for them personally, but through choosing adoption, you are giving your child the opportunity to live their best life.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Call us: 720-371-1099, Call or Text us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Kara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of Charlotte. She plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about.
Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!