8 Top Reasons Birth Fathers Choose Adoption
There are many reasons birth fathers choose adoption. Everyone’s journey and choices are unique to their situation, personal desires and values. When an unplanned pregnancy occurs, it can be a very difficult decision making process and not all birth fathers are initially on board with a birth mother’s choice to place a baby for adoption.
Adoption Choices Colorado has counseling available to help you better understand open adoption and give you a place to express your own feelings and fears in the adoption process. This blog post is going to focus on eight of the top reasons birth fathers choose adoption
A Birth Father May Choose Adoption When He is…
- Unable to Provide for the Baby Financially
This is a very common reason for birth parents to decide to place their child with an adoptive family. Parenthood comes with incredible expenses and many birth fathers simply do not have the financial means to provide for a child. If you find yourself in this position, it can feel good to know your child is placed with an adoptive family who can.
- Too Young or Not Ready to Put Future Plans on Hold at the Moment
Many birth parents choose adoption because they are too young or simply not ready to be parents. It takes a lot of self-awareness and selflessness to admit that you are not ready to take care of a child and to place them with a family who can. Raising a child requires a lot of time and sacrifice that young people who are building their own independence, stability and career may not be ready or able to give up. It’s okay to focus on you and your plans before having a child. Adoption can be a great way to honor that reality in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.
- Facing Personal Challenges and Wants their Child to Be Raised in a Stable Home
Some birth fathers choose adoption because they have personal challenges they are working through. This may involve big life changes that are overwhelming, or mental health issues that need to be addressed before having a child. It takes a lot of courage to be honest with yourself and admit that you are not in a place emotionally where you are able to care for your child in the way that’s best for them. Sometimes, birth fathers had a difficult or traumatic childhood that they are still processing and healing from, and they want better for their own child.
- Lacking a Support Network
Raising a child is a challenging process for anyone and requires a lot of support from family and friends. If the birth mother and father are not together, lack close friends and family support or just moved to a new city, this may be a reason to place your baby up for adoption. It takes a village to raise a child and open adoption can provide just that. Your son or daughter will have their adoptive parents, you will have a relationship with them and your child will be able to know who his or her birth parents are..
Or He may Choose Adoption because He…
- Wants to Take Responsibility
Some birth fathers choose adoption because it feels empowering to address an unplanned pregnancy in a positive and active way. Adoption gives you a chance to participate in the beautiful process of creating a family, and makes something positive out of what may be an otherwise overwhelming situation. By choosing adoption, you can feel confident and reassured that you took an active role in ensuring your child has all the love and support they need.
- Wants to Reduce Uncertainty and Fear
Adoption Choices Colorado encourages birth fathers to consider open adoption. This allows birth fathers the chance to develop a relationship with their child’s adoptive parents and to watch their child as he or she grows up. Any and all fears a birth father may experience throughout the adoption journey can decrease knowing that the child is being cared for and raised with loving hands.
- Wants to Improve the Grieving Process
Another one of the reasons birth fathers choose open adoption is that the continued connection to their child can make the grieving process easier. The ability to still have a relationship with your child allows you to keep them in your life, even though you are not able to parent them. This can help with the difficult process of grieving the loss of your child that many birth fathers experience. Adoption is both a difficult and beautiful process that brings up a lot of mixed emotions. The ability to know and interact with adoptive families can give you reassurance and help you healthfully move forward with your life post adoption..
- Wants to Help Others Create a Family
Birth fathers may have a desire to help others create a family. There are so many individuals who really want to have a child and who have waited a long time to become parents. So, it can feel powerful to help someone create that family. You might feel a great sense of joy and satisfaction knowing that your choice to place your child with an adoptive family is helping others have the family they might not otherwise be able to have.. This sense of joy and purpose can be a really powerful benefit to choosing adoption.
A Birth Father Wants His Child to Live their Best Life
While there are many reasons birth fathers choose adoption, ultimately, it all comes down to deep, unconditional love for their child. Because you really love and cherish your child and want the absolute best for them. There may be many different reasons you can’t provide the opportunities or family you want for them personally, but through choosing adoption, you are giving your child the opportunity to live their best life.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Call us: 720-371-1099, Call or Text us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Kara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of Charlotte. She plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about.
Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent.