When you have made the decision to place a child for adoption, there are many things to think about. You’ll be considering numerous couples who wish to adopt your baby, and it can be overwhelming. With so many things to think about, how do you know what to ask each adoptive family that you are considering before you decide on the perfect match? Being prepared with everything you will discuss with each family will help you to learn about them, their lifestyle, their reasons for adopting, and overall, the quality of life that they will provide for your unborn baby.

Many of these questions will likely be answered briefly through the adoptive family’s profile, but asking these questions opens up a conversation so that you can learn even more about a potential adoptive family.

Are You Close with Your Extended Family?

You may have an idea regarding the type of family you want your child to be placed in. Perhaps you grew up in a tight-knit family, and what the same for your baby. Or, it could be that you’d prefer a small, intimate family for your child. Take the time to learn about their extended family so you can get a good sense of the family life that your child could expect.

What is Your Occupation?

A birth mother wants to know the occupation of the prospective parents for several reasons. Not only do you want to know the income level of the family, but you need to take into consideration the schedule and demands of the job. Ask the family if they have typical 9-5 schedules, or if they are required to work nights and weekends. Consider how this will affect the child. Ask if one of the parents will be staying at home with the child or if he or she will be placed in daycare or have a babysitter.

How Did You Know That You Wanted to Become Parents?

This is one of the most important questions you can ask a potential family. You want to know if it is a decision that was made with careful consideration. It can also be extremely insightful and really reveal the type of people the adoptive parents are.

What Are Your Beliefs Regarding Discipline?

It is vital that you share the same views on discipline as the adoptive parents. You want to make sure that the child is being raised in an environment that you feel comfortable with. Many parents have different opinions regarding discipline and rules, so ask how the prospective adoptive family plans to handle misconduct.

How Did You Meet Each Other?

As the birth mother, especially in an open adoption, you will want to really get to know your child’s adoptive family. Ask them if they met online, through friends, at school, or somewhere else. Learn about their story. This is a story that your child will eventually hear, and it will help shape their views on meeting a potential partner in the future.

Do You Have Other Children?

You want to know if the child will have siblings. Inquire whether the family has other children, or if they plan to have or adopt other children in the future. How will they integrate a new child into their household if they already have other children?

What Is Your Neighborhood Like?

It may be that you feel more comfortable with a certain type of environment. Perhaps you’d rather the child be raised in a suburban environment as opposed to living in a city. Everyone has different reasons for choosing one type of neighborhood over another. You may want the child to live in a neighborhood where there are plenty of parks and recreation to keep them entertained. Ask yourself ahead of time what is important to you in regards to the neighborhood that the prospective family lives in, and ask any necessary questions on this topic. 

Meeting with prospective families is one of the most important things you will ever do for your baby. Take the time to figure out exactly what you want to know about the people who will raise the child. Know well in advance of the meeting exactly what you will ask. By being prepared with questions, it will make choosing a family easier and more comfortable for you. 

We are here to make the adoption process a positive one. If you’re ready to begin the adoption process, please contact us today!

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