5 Simple Ways to Bond with Your Gestational Carrier (Surrogate)
It’s too easy to mistake an agreement between you, the intended parents, and your surrogate as a business arrangement and nothing more. A legal contract written up and signed with your attorney present. But, choosing a surrogate to help grow and deliver your baby is so much more than that. It’s a lifelong connection between all of you. Yes, there are definite business and legal aspects involved, yet women who choose to become surrogates aren’t focused on the monetary part. Rather, they are selflessly giving of themselves to help you become the parents you dream of being.
Imagine it this way. Carrying your baby is something that makes her very happy, because she knows she’s helping you build a family. She enjoys the magic of pregnancy, and receives her true reward when she places your son or daughter in your arms for the first time. Money is just a bonus. This is very important to keep in mind. If you’re unsure of how to establish a healthy relationship with your surrogate, Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado has five simple ways to bond with her.
From start to finish, communicate with her. No question is too big, too small or too silly. Ask anything and everything you want to know. This will be especially important when you are first screening candidates, to ensure if you all blend well together. After all, when everything is signed, you can’t backpedal. You’re locked in. Learn her likes, dislikes. What makes her tick. Her stressors. Anxieties. What makes her happy. Communication is essential. Every step of the way. It’ll ensure you’re always on the same page.
2) Get Together
Do you live close to each other? Schedule times that you can meet up. Hang out together. Once a week, once a month. Whatever works best for all of you. As long as travel does not impede you in any way — meet up on a regular basis. Allowing yourselves that real, in-person, face-to-face contact will make a huge difference. Despite all the methods of technology available, it remains the most authentic way for you to establish a strong, healthy relationship, and to truly know each other. To build trust, as well. For, trust is the most vital aspect to have in a successful surrogacy agreement. Above any other element. So, grab a meal together. See a movie. Visit a park or the zoo. Go bowling. Whatever you decide, getting together is a simple way to bond with your surrogate mother.
3) Schedule Phone or Video Calls
With how busy everyone’s lives, and how quickly our calendars seem to fill up, don’t hesitate to schedule a phone or video call if you can’t meet up in person. There are free apps available that make this simple and straightforward. To name a few: Skype, ZOOM, and WhatsApp. Google has their own version of a video chat called Google Hangouts. Or, if you’d prefer and your phone has a good camera, FaceTime is also a viable option.
4) Work with Time Zones
If you have chosen to use, or have been matched with a surrogate out of state, be mindful of each other’s time zones. Particularly when you’re looking to schedule the aforementioned phone or video call. You’ll want to make sure that you’re accounting for however many hours difference it is between you and your gestational surrogate.
5) Share in the Journey
There are so many things that go into the surrogacy journey. It’s important to be as involved as you can. Don’t forget to communicate how grateful you are to your surrogate. Talk to her about attending her doctor appointments, so you can experience all the major milestones of the pregnancy with her.
Simple Ways to Bond in Surrogacy in Colorado
Treat your surrogate the way you’d want to be treated. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado understands that this may seem too simplistic, but believe us. Even the smallest gestures will go a long way. It doesn’t take much. Especially when you think about the treasure that your surrogate is gifting you — a son or daughter. She has been screened, selected, and wants the very best for your family. That’s huge. Priceless.
So, if you find yourself growing frustrated with the details of the surrogacy journey, and stressed about the legal and business aspect, take a step back. Remind yourself what your gestational surrogate is helping you build, and do everything you can to bond with her.
If you are interested in learning more about your gestational surrogacy options, contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.