3 Things Birth Mothers want Colorado Adoptive Families to Know
Adoptive families may not understand what birth mothers go through. Placing your baby up for adoption is one of the hardest decisions any woman has to make. Most of the time, the decision is based on what will benefit the child in the long run. As the birth mother, you only want your child to be safe and in a healthy and happy family home.
As a birth mother, you get the choice of which type of adoption you desire. Unfortunately, this can mean that you will not be able to contact the adoptive parents or your child. This being said, you can’t tell the adoptive parents what you want them to know when they are raising your child.
There are different reasons behind the adoption choice for a birth mother, and having the adoptive parents know your certain feelings you have can be important to you. As a birth mother, you want to stay in contact with the adoptive parents. You want the adoptive parents to know that you love your child, and you want to thank the adoptive parents for raising your child.
At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we have many resources where you can learn all about what a birth mother’s choices are and what they may go through during the adoption process. Here are three things birth mothers want Colorado adoptive families to know.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
1 – Staying in Contact with Adoptive Families
Whether you choose open or semi-open adoption, having that contact with the adoptive parents is essential. A birth mother’s want of having the adoptive parents stay in contact is huge. You want to stay in contact to hear all about your child that the adoptive parents are raising. Staying in contact is important to many birth mothers because even though you placed your baby up for adoption, you still want him or her in your life somehow. You love them and care about them.
You are your child’s biological mother, and you would still like to see pictures of your child when they are walking, videos of them talking, even pictures and videos when they walk the stage for high school graduation. You want life updates, want to know how they are doing, and if they are happy. You want to stay in contact with the adoptive parents and have that connection with them and hopefully even your child.
It was hard for you to place your child up for adoption, but you want to stay in your child’s life from afar even if you can’t be the parent. This means staying in contact with the adoptive parents.
2 – Tell my Child I love them
Choosing to place your baby up for adoption is one of the hardest decisions anyone could make. For a birth mother, it could be for any reason. The main reason is that you love your child. You only want what’s best for your child, and unfortunately, that meant placing him or her up for adoption.
You love your child. You carried him or her in your body for months, and you may have a big emotional connection to them. A mother’s love for her child is different than any kind. It is definitely hard for you to make this adoption decision, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love your child any less.
You chose your child’s needs ahead of your own, and that takes a lot of selflessnesses. Many birth mothers don’t want to place their baby for adoption, but it might be the last available option. That is okay. You want to make sure that your child gets a better life than what you could give them.
3 – Thank You for Being the Parent of My Child
You weren’t able to parent your child, so the adoptive parents decided to raise them as their own. This is a huge job they took on. Raising a child is hard, and it’s okay that you weren’t able to do that. We understand that life gets tough, and it wasn’t the right time for you to be a mother, but you want to thank the adoptive parents for taking on that role for you.
Having that chance to thank the adoptive parents for taking on that role for your child and giving him or her a healthy and happy family is huge. We know how grateful you are to the adoptive parents for raising your child as their own. They are giving your child a loving and safe family, and that’s all that matters to you.
You want to thank the adoptive parents. Every time you see pictures of your child running around the yard, playing in the mud, or even just sitting on the bench at a park, you want to thank the adoptive parents for being that parent role for them. You know how hard it is, and you want the adoptive parents to know that you are beyond thankful.
Telling Colorado Adoptive Families These 3 Things
Having the adoptive family understand what you go through and what you want them to know is important. Listening and staying connected to you is beneficial to you for you to know that your child is happy. That’s your main priority. Unfortunately, you may never get the chance to tell your child’s adoptive parents everything you want them to know, depending on what type of adoption you chose. These are just a few things that many birth mothers, like you, want Colorado adoptive families to know. Having the adoptive parents take this information and understand why you want them to know these things is important to you. It even might bring you closer to them and your child.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!